Ask

(My nephews Isaac and Tyson. They are so young, beautiful, and not so innocent!)

Do you ever become so angry at yourself you sit and wonder how and why you ever got to that point? My mom once said to me, "Anna, she may be driving you crazy, but who is the driver?"

The anger builds inside because I make so many assumptions since there will then be less room for disappointment. Is it really worth it though? In the end I typically regret giving too much of myself to someone or something instead of giving my life to God. He's in control, not me. What "gets in the way" is how He allows us to make our decisions, and instead of asking God to guide me, I convince myself whatever I'm doing is ok.

"God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son" Romans 8:29

It is one of God's greatest lessons. He created our unique and beautiful selves. He is our Father who guides us, just as our parents on earth do, but eventually we begin to live our own lives. We no longer ask what time to be home, or if a friend can spend the night, or if we can take the car. It is easy to forget to ask if what we are doing is ok.

I'm angry. I'm angry that I have lead someone to believe I am someone else. I'm angry I have focused too much of my attention elsewhere besides my Bible or journal. I'm angry I didn't ask for help.

I'm content because as much as I have and will struggle, God knows me inside and out and will help. All I have to do is ask.

It's beautiful, isn't it?