Who here is indecisive? Frustrated? Confused? Happy? Angry? Concerned?
How about all of those words at one time?
Everyone lives day by day, it's just the anticipation of what is to come that we all differ. It seems once we accept a situation, something changes and the acceptance process begins again. I struggle with actually being ok with my life.
"Oh well, it's part of life" just rolls off my tongue. I am happy. God has blessed me and given me a body to live (although when I complain to my mom about getting her legs she says, "Well at least I gave you legs." Yeah mom, not the response I was going for, but thanks. State the obvious why dontchya?). The more days I live though, the more I realize how little control I have.
Take a 'crush' for example. Grade school and middle school are filled with the boy or girl who is the cutest around and we can't imagine how anyone else could be as amazing. A week goes by and a new crush evolves and then comes "What was I thinking?" Not sure how it happens, but some people have a bigger impact on that part in our brain that gives us a crush.
High school and college roll around and then people tend to act on their heart. They fall in love, start imagining a family with this person. Does ANYONE remember a day where they said to themselves, "I am going to have a crush on this person"? It just happened and at some crazy moment you put pieces together and realize, wait a minute, I DO like this person!
How does that work? In high school I had a male friend (who is still an amazing friend of mine) and some of the 'elders' would ask, "why don't you just date?"
Because that would be weird.
He was/is an incredible person and will treat his girlfriend like a princess, but we never felt 'that way' about each other. God has something in store for us. When you naturally feel a certain way, it's more His way than the natural way.
This was more of a babbling on how little control I have over things right now, and it stinks, but I'm slowly understanding how eventually it will make sense and *sigh* I suppose it's probably a good thing I'm not calling all the shots.
