I'll have the usual...

When customers were not around I would throw old or dropped burger buns out the shack window for the seagulls to devour. It brought entertainment to the day. One day a man peaked his head around the window and said, "Well, I was wondering why all the seagulls were here! Now I know."

I immediately apologized, not realizing there was still a person eating at the picnic table. So many customers had complained about the 'pesty birds,' so I knew better to only feed them when no one was around. The man said there was no need to apologize. He had a grin on his face and shared the joy of feeding the seagulls.

This man was one of my regulars at the shack. He always ordered two brats and a drink, never chips. One Wednesday he decided to try a walking taco and discovered he enJOYed it. So, aside from Wednesdays, he always ordered to brats and a drink, never chips. He came later in the day, so he was usually the only customer for about a 10 minute span. He knew my name from my tag and I only knew his last name because his niece and I graduated together and I knew of one of his daughters. I can even tell you what he drove, where his daughter went to college, where she received her masters, where his other daughter went to college and where her daughter's husband went to college. But his first name, I still don't know.

He was a gentle, kind, caring, loving, genuine, all-around incredible man. The days he would find lunch elsewhere never felt complete. I enjoyed his greeting of a smile and the encouragement that came from our conversations. My last day of work I bawled. The people I worked with inside were incredible. They were hilarious and amazingly generous. There was another person I was going to miss as well. The man who became a regular did not show up my last day. I was looking forward to thanking him for his business and kindness and how I appreciated the conversations we had. I was jealous of whoever would run the shack the rest of the summer and this summer because he was such an enJOYable person to be around.

Today I found out he passed away from cancer. It was a 2 year battle for him. His incredible attitude and seemingly positive outlook on life was and is something for all to strive for. Now he is in heaven looking down on his family and I say thank you to him for reinforcing one of the best lessons my father has taught me.

Don't draw attention to yourself from your own pain. Just enJOY life. Obviously it is important for us to vent now and then about life's troubles, so I don't mean to say never mention a single problem. We'd all go insane if everything bottled up! But sometimes we dwell on the things going on in our own life and don't pay attention to those around us. Now that I know of this man's cancer battle, he seemed to accept it and move on with his life. He had concern for those around him, the power to look past his struggles and learn about other people's lives.

What an amazing man. I pray his family has the love and support they need. He was an incredible human being and will be missed here on earth, but God has an incredible new addition up in heaven!

The four women in this picture did not exist to me last August. I ran the Hy-Vee burger shack over the summer and had a few "regulars" wondering what life held in the fall.

My response was, "Well, I'll be an RA in Binnewies! It will be an experience!"

Typically what followed was a story about their RA experience, or a family member who went to SDSU, or a 'good luck.'

The middle of August came, we loaded up two cars, climbed 3 flights of stairs (one too many times), and ready or not, my junior year of college had begun. I remember after saying good-bye to my parents, they went ahead and my boyfriend at the time stood in my room with my as I bawled my eyes out, complaining of how scared, unprepared, unqualified, and any other negative thing I was. He comforted me with the, "Everything will be ok."

Organization isn't my forte, planning is. Not knowing the who, what, when, where, why of things drives me insane! That was my fear for the year, just as any other. God didn't give us the 411 of who we'll meet, when it will be, where it will be, etc.

My dad will be here in approximately 7 hours to help load up the final belongings. I sit in my room reminiscing of the entire year, the late-night conversation girls didn't think I heard, the drunken encounters, the creative games in the hallway, the disgusting stench of the unclean bathroom.

Most importantly, the people I met this past year have taught me an abundance of life-long interpersonal skills. Hopefully someday they all know how thankful I am for the past year, all because of them. I struggle knowing I could not offer them more, or maybe did not put enough effort into providing for them. Regardless, I pray they all enJOY their future journeys and do not approach new beginnings with fear. There is a unique aspect of every person on this earth and I am fascinated by and thankful for experiencing over 400 new unique qualities this year. Thank you all!

(The girls in the picture are some amazing women with incredible personalities and giving hearts! If you know one of them you are truly blessed!)

Ask

(My nephews Isaac and Tyson. They are so young, beautiful, and not so innocent!)

Do you ever become so angry at yourself you sit and wonder how and why you ever got to that point? My mom once said to me, "Anna, she may be driving you crazy, but who is the driver?"

The anger builds inside because I make so many assumptions since there will then be less room for disappointment. Is it really worth it though? In the end I typically regret giving too much of myself to someone or something instead of giving my life to God. He's in control, not me. What "gets in the way" is how He allows us to make our decisions, and instead of asking God to guide me, I convince myself whatever I'm doing is ok.

"God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son" Romans 8:29

It is one of God's greatest lessons. He created our unique and beautiful selves. He is our Father who guides us, just as our parents on earth do, but eventually we begin to live our own lives. We no longer ask what time to be home, or if a friend can spend the night, or if we can take the car. It is easy to forget to ask if what we are doing is ok.

I'm angry. I'm angry that I have lead someone to believe I am someone else. I'm angry I have focused too much of my attention elsewhere besides my Bible or journal. I'm angry I didn't ask for help.

I'm content because as much as I have and will struggle, God knows me inside and out and will help. All I have to do is ask.

It's beautiful, isn't it?